Only in my dreams

What are dreams, really? Do they really mean anything, are they trying to tell us something? I’ve been having really strange dreams for the past few weeks. Most of them I don’t remember much about them except waking up and thinking “what was that all about?” There are some though that I remember almost everything.

There are two recurring themes in my dreams that I remember. Two dreams have been about friends from high school. One of my friends and I are going to visit our other friends. We are in a nice, tropical climate, it looks like we are at a beach bar and then I get this bad feeling. I look at one of my friends and her head is down on the bar. I go over to see if she’s OK and I realize she’s snorting drugs. But that isn’t the worst part. She turns into some type of monster. It’s like she’s the Walking Dead except she looks perfectly normal, it was just something with her eyes that I could tell she was different. I start running and looking for my other friend but she’s a monster too! As I’m running for my life I run into a friend from grammar school. She’s normal still so we find a motorcycle to get the heck out of dodge. But then we see this baby, so we wrap it up in something to keep it warm on the motorcycle. Then I woke up. I have one more dream like this but I don’t remember all the details.

Theme # 2. This one was a few weeks ago so I don’t remember it as clearly. I’m driving. I’m not doing anything illegal but I am pulled over. The officer is nice and he starts talking to me. For some reason I cannot drive my car home and we are playfully arguing about this for a little while. Flirting really. He offers to drive me home and tells me I am not allowed to refuse because I cannot drive my car. I accept his ride home and the flirting continues. Although he wants to kiss me and I would like to kiss him back, I know that I can’t, so we just keep playfully flirting. We arrive at my house and he walks me to the door. I thanked him for the ride home and we stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever. Then I walked into the house and woke up. I tried desperately to fall back to sleep to continue this dream but obviously it did not happen. I also had a couple other dreams similar to this, but this one stands out for some reason.

My friends don’t know what to tell me about the dreams with my high school friends turning into monsters. But they were all unanimous that the dream about the officer means I need more flirting in my life. I have to say, I do agree with them.

The Music in Me

A few weeks ago I was watching Reality Bites. It was about 2 or 3am and I couldn’t sleep, nothing new. But watching that movie and listening to the songs in the background for the first time in probably over a decade brought back a flood of memories. So instead of lying there thinking about it all I decided to write them in my blog and hopefully get some sleep. For some reason though that blog never did get published. After typing it all out there was an error and I lost the whole dang post. Of course the next morning I couldn’t think of half of what I typed out so I never tried to re-write it.

My point in today’s post is not to try to remember the post that never was, but to build off it. Instead of writing about the specific songs in that movie and the memories that are connected to them I just want to write about music in general. And I’m sorry but I’ll probably go off on tangents a lot.

Yesterday someone asked me if I was familiar with a song. I really couldn’t tell by just the name so I pulled it up on YouTube and gave a listen (thank God for smartphones, eh). Sounded pretty good, I liked it so later that night I downloaded it on iTunes and gave a better listen. At some point during the song I realized I wasn’t just listening to the song but I was listening to figure out how it would relate to me and my life. I started wondering, “Do I over analyze every song like this or does something just grab me with specific songs that makes me think about them more?” I started thinking about some of the songs that have specific meaning to me. Madonna makes the list a couple of times, take from that what you will.

Let’s stick with Madonna. I’ll Remember was released in March 1994. My father passed away that May. Being the huge Madonna fan that I am, I had already listened to that song about 100 times before my father passed. A couple of days after he died I was sitting on the couch doing homework with MTV on in the background (yes, they still played videos a few times a day then) and the video for that song came on. That’s when it hit me. That’s when it all came crashing down on me and I lost it. I’m starting to lose it a little now as I type.

As I’ve already stated I’ve always been a huge Madonna fan. So thinking of innocent 8 year old me singing and dancing to Papa Don’t Preach in my kitchen shouldn’t be a big deal since I hardly knew what the song was about. Fast forward 10 years and yep, you guessed it, 18 year old me is in that same situation that Madonna was in that song. Now don’t get too excited, I’m really not THAT type of girl. My boyfriend and I were together for 2 years at that point and guess what, we ended up getting married and having 3 more kids together. In fact we’ll be married for 15 years this May. I can’t say that it’s been all hunky dory; there have definitely been some if-y times in there. VERY if-y times. But if you’ve read any of my earlier posts you might have guessed that already.

Anyway, I told you I would go off on tangents so I think I’ll end it here.


50 Things

Cancer is a horrendous disease. I would not wish it upon anyone. But there are people who truly do not understand the seriousness and emotions that are attached to those going through it. Those who use cancer diagnosis as an attention grabber should have a personal scare so they understand.