I had planned on writing about my dreams from last night. I had two that I would gladly enjoy on a recurring status. Vin Diesel (who I usually wouldn’t fantasize about) was “courting” me pretty hard. I liked the chase because I played hard to get for a bit, but eventually I gave in. Oh boy was I ever glad I did! It was all hot and heavy and crazy. He had crazy strong arms and hands. Oh man his hands. Anyway, I woke up from that dream and tried desperately to fall back to sleep to continue it.
I did dream again but this time the guy had hair. Good hair. Run my fingers through hair. He was very familiar to me but I can’t remember exactly who he was. This guy was super romantic. Again, big strong arms but a soft, sensual touch. And his touch was everywhere.
Both men were very passionate and amazing but the 1st one was more like “one night stand” sex and the other one was more like “I’d like to keep this going every night” sex.
Honestly I love both types. Neither felt monotonous or mechanical in any way. Maybe that’s why I keep replaying them in my head all day, because it was something new and different.
So all this makes me wonder, am I looking for something more than what I have? There have definitely been times when I’ve seriously wondered if this is where I’m supposed to be, but not recently. I’m sure everyone wonders that at times. I’ll just let these questions go for now and try to have some fun dreams again tonight.
It’s easy to tell how tired I am lately. Just ask me what my first words are when I wake up in the morning, If I mutter WTF, then I had some crazy whacked out dreams, which means I fell asleep completely exhausted the night before. I have been waking up like this a lot lately, but to my disappointment I cannot remember enough of my dream to even describe it to anyone.
This morning is different. This morning I can remember enough details to write about it. But first a little background. My husband and I have been discussing giving my soon-to-be high school graduate a dog for her graduation present. She will be living at home and commuting to college in the fall and she has been missing her BFF Chip since he passed almost 2 years ago. Personally I would love it, I love dogs and would love to have two running around the house again (I have a little shih-Tzu who thinks he’s a cat). For some reason my husband is very distant to the idea of rescuing a dog from a shelter, something that I cannot understand. We’ve been going back and forth with each other on this subject for some time now.
So anyway, my dream. I was walking through the toy section of a store and saw my best friend’s husband playing with the girl toys and having very serious conversations with his friend about them. (Side note, my friend is currently pregnant and is having a girl.) I just stay far enough away to keep watching and laughing at them as they discuss these toys like they are a foreign object. When I do leave, I watch as someone across the parking lot (near a wooded lot), opens the car door and lets a dog out. The person on the passenger seat side is acting shady so I yelled to them and they get back in and speed away. The dog tried to follow the car for a little while but eventually stopped and I ran over to him. There were tags still on him so I called the number. The person answered and right away just started babbling on about not wanting him anymore and it was now my problem and was actually yelling at me. Um, hello, I am not the person that just abandoned my dog! I’m not sure what kind of dog this was, a bigger dog that kind of looked like a pit bull golden retriever mix. At this point I am no longer in the store parking lot but it seems like the front patio of a local restaurant sitting at an outside table with my husband. The weird part is that I think I’m using a cell phone but I am right next to a pay phone so I’m not sure what that is about or why it stands out to me. So anyway, I took the collar off and threw it in the garbage and said “dog, you’re mine now” and called my daughter and told her to meet me at the pet store. On the way to the pet store I drove to the first store I was at to see if my friend’s husband was still there trying to understand girl toys. He was just walking out, empty handed.
So that’s last nights dream. I’m sure there is no hidden meaning in this one, my friends and I had an entire conversation about rescuing stray dogs off the street like this during lunch yesterday. I just think I need another dog in my life.
I decided to take one of those online quizzes just for shits and giggles. The quiz was to see how likely I am to be or become a sex addict. Turns out, according to that quiz I am most likely addicted to sex!
Who would have thought that a mom of 4 kids could have an addiction such as this? I ask that sarcastically. I mean, come on, 4 kids! Seriously though, yes. I do like sex. No, I love it. Who doesn’t? It’s enjoyable, it can boost your self esteem & can be a great form of exercise.
But what is a sex addict really? Just because I think about it often and have many conversations with friends about porn that makes me an addict? Or maybe it’s because the first thing I do when I look at a man is decide if I would have sex with him or not. Ok, not always in person but watching tv or movies too. For example right now I’m watching a movie with Harrison Ford and yeah, he’s 30 years older than I am but he’s damn sexy. And yes I think about people I meet in real life too. It’s got to be a natural instinct, don’t you think?
I never would have thought that I had any type of problem or was abnormal in any way if it weren’t for that quiz. I don’t have any issues functioning in daily life and I don’t go through withdrawal if I don’t have sex for a day or two or even a week. I just like to have sex. I like to think about it. And yes, I think about different people. Mostly unattainable people like Harrison Ford. Oh well, it is what it is and I am who I am. I’m sexy and I know it.