My choices are wrong. My decisions are wrong. My opinions are wrong. My way of thinking is wrong. My emotions are wrong. Maybe the fact that I am here is just wrong.
I stopped to really take a good look at my life recently. You know what I noticed? I don’t do anything. I don’t make any decisions and when I do I second guess myself. Every. Single. Time. I don’t speak up at all because I always feel that my own point will be invalid. I am embarrassed to do any of the activities that I really love because people have judged me on them in the past.
I stopped paying bills because something else should’ve been paid first. I stopped doing the grocery shopping because something else was on sale or I bought the wrong brand. I will only make the same few meals for dinner because God forbid I try something new. I don’t try to suggest a different location or time of year to take a vacation because, why bother? It’s not going to be a good idea anyway.
I spend more time alone and in my own head than I care to really admit.
What I want, or need, isn’t important. There’s no need to be happy.
I know I sound like I’m being selfish or spoiled or whatever. But I need to be acknowledged from time to time. I am here, dammit.