I feel as though life is just a series of small battles and I’m losing every single one.
Just when I think all is hunky dory something happens. For every step forward there are two steps back. Most of the time it’s a little problem or annoyance but sometimes it’s something big. I know that I shouldn’t sweat the small stuff, but God in heaven, when everything falls like dominoes one right after another I start questioning my entire existence.
I know a lot of it is just my own interpretation of the events. But please don’t complain about what I make for dinner just because you were hoping for something else because hey, you have food to eat. And please don’t tell me the best way to cut chicken so that it cooks faster; all I’m hearing is that your way is better than mine. Please stop nitpicking over small details in life that have little to no effect on anything at all. All of these small things just fester with me until something that really does matter happens and I explode.
When I come home from a run limping, please be understanding and helpful. It does not help anything for you to become aggravated because my knee is in pain. There is no need for any “I told you so’s” or make references to past complaints of knee pain from running. I am already feeling like I’ve failed at something, yet again. I really don’t need to be kicked while I’m down. Especially when I am so obviously losing this battle with weight. Perhaps I would consider some of your suggestions as helpful if I felt they were actually heartfelt and not said to show me that I made a wrong decision. Again.
I need an outlet for all this “small stress”. Running was starting to help with it a little, and now I can’t even do that until I get this knee checked out.
For once I would just like to do something and be good at it without anything weighing me down, pun totally intended.