Loud Music

The one thing in life that I could never, ever do without is music. Music has seen me on my worst days and my best. Music has been there to get me through deaths, births, weddings, and tragedies. It gets me through the day at work,  when I’m at home cleaning and through 3 mile runs. Music holds memories and brings them back to the forefront, whether I want them there or not.

I will hear a song and suddenly I’m little again, watching MTV in my living room, dancing without a care. Or I’m just sitting on my couch in the days after my dad died. I giggle at Barenaked Ladies thinking about my mom gasping at some of their lyrics. I smile thinking of sitting on a street curb eating ice cream with old friends. I cry at songs that bring me back to times when my husband and I fought all the time and thought my marriage was ending.

I think that’s normal for most people. But is it weird when you hear a song and it reminds you of a person who has absolutely no connection to that song? Every now and then a song will come out and it brings memories of a time long past or a person who I haven’t seen in years. That always makes me wonder when that happens. Why would a song bring thoughts about someone or something that I haven’t thought about in so long? Is there a reason? Is there something I’m not seeing and should be?

It also makes me wonder if I’m really even living in the physical world or if I’m still living in my dream world. My own world of “would haves or could haves.”

I think I am mostly in my own fantasy world.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I like it there. Listening to my music with nothing but my own thoughts and memories. Music is my escape.

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