It’s another one of those days. There’s been a couple of them lately. Little things setting me off. People telling me what to do, how to be. And they don’t understand when I try explaining my feelings about that. They can’t see that it’s not necessarily the words they use but how they use them.
It’s frustrating. I’m frustrated. I know there are things that I can’t do, and yes, I’m having a hard time accepting that. But let me come to terms with it on my own. Don’t TELL me something that I already know. It doesn’t help. In fact, it makes matters worse. When you say it, it makes me feel like a failure, like I’m incomplete, empty. When you say it, it feels like an “I told you so.” That’s not what I need.
I need support. I need a sounding board. I need a shoulder to cry on. I need a friend. I need a partner.
A friend and a partner.
That’s what I need the most. That is what I’m lacking. That is why I feel I’ll be buried in a church with only my name. With no one there.
Because no one is there.