Ready To Run

I feel so bipolar lately. I make up my mind to do something and then when it comes down to it, I just don’t.

I always second guess myself, wonder if this is really what I want.

I feel like one day I’ll make a decision and the next day it doesn’t feel so right anymore. I don’t know why. No backbone I guess. All of this back and forth and indecisiveness has me on edge. I’m moody and emotional and overly sensitive about everything.

What I feel like I need to do is take time away. Totally by myself. Just to think about what it is I really want. But, I have a family that I need to take care of and that just doesn’t allow me to run away.

So what are my options? Keeping everything as is and eventually burning myself out? If I decide on a change, well, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

I don’t know. Today was a good day though, so of course I lean more towards keeping everything as is. And because I know what the repercussions would be if I did make the change. I know I don’t want that.

So the only choice I have to make really is no choice at all.

It is what it is.



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