I feel so bipolar lately. I make up my mind to do something and then when it comes down to it, I just don’t.
I always second guess myself, wonder if this is really what I want.
I feel like one day I’ll make a decision and the next day it doesn’t feel so right anymore. I don’t know why. No backbone I guess. All of this back and forth and indecisiveness has me on edge. I’m moody and emotional and overly sensitive about everything.
What I feel like I need to do is take time away. Totally by myself. Just to think about what it is I really want. But, I have a family that I need to take care of and that just doesn’t allow me to run away.
So what are my options? Keeping everything as is and eventually burning myself out? If I decide on a change, well, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
I don’t know. Today was a good day though, so of course I lean more towards keeping everything as is. And because I know what the repercussions would be if I did make the change. I know I don’t want that.
So the only choice I have to make really is no choice at all.
It is what it is.