If I am totally honest, I’d have to say that my vices are many. Ice cream for one. I can’t pass up ice cream. Especially chocolate. If you want to get to me, you do it through ice cream. But I think my biggest downfall is wanting what I can’t have.
I can go for years without wanting or needing. Then one day I’ll have a small taste of something that should be off-limits and BOOM. Suddenly it’s all I think about.
My mind, my thoughts, my dreams even seem to be consumed by this one thing.
It’s just out of reach, dangling in front of me, waiting for me to grab. I’m taunted by the very fact that it exists; by the possibilities of what I could do with it; by the joy and satisfaction it could bring to me.
It is hard to concentrate on anything else and I find myself daydreaming. A lot. I have such a lust for it that my body sometimes aches. I sometimes feel that I just need to grab it and do with it what I need, if only to break this spell that it has me under. So I can feel it, taste and taste it then move on.
But what if that doesn’t work? What if I want it more?
I guess we’ll just have to find out.