Save Myself

Why are holidays so dang stressful? There’s really no need for it. And so many times, it is all undue stress that is caused by other people who are stressing over nothing.

I understand how people become more depressed during the holidays. The reasons vary from person to person.

For me, it’s basically because I miss my mom. My side of the family is super small. Basically just my brother and I. His wife comes from a large family as does my husband. So when it comes to planning parties and holidays, my sister-in-law’s family takes priority for them. While my husband’s family seems to take priority for us.

For Christmas, though, the only day my family is really occupied is Christmas Eve. That’s when my husband’s family does our get together with the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and now the next round of cousins.

My brother’s family does their large get together on Christmas day. But every year it is always so hard to find a date for us to all get together. It doesn’t matter how early I try to pin down a date with them, they always say they have to wait to see when they will get together with her dad’s family or their friends or whatnot.

My theory is that this has a lot to do with why I miss my mom so much more at this time of year. Sometimes I want to feel like someone puts me first. I want to feel like I’m important to someone. I haven’t felt like that since my mom died. For the past 14 years I’ve pretty much just been existing in other people’s lives.

I know, poor me. It could be a lot worse, I know. But right now, this is my worst.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s