Happy

Words are strong. They have power. People who know how to use words are heavily armed and definitely use words to their advantage.

I’m surrounded by a whole wealth of negativity at work. Everyone is out for him or herself and will step on anyone to stay on top. Quite honestly it is a pretty depressing and frustrating environment lately.
It’s so strange how words can lift you up so or drag you down so easily. I don’t think I realized just how far down I had been until Monday. Monday is when my first two assignments were returned to me from my journalism class.

Encouragement. Praise. Motivation. Three words that I am not used to hearing directed toward me. Naturally then whenever I do hear any words of encouragement I am going to revel in it for as long as I can. I am still on my high, two days later. I find it amazing how just a little bit of recognition can alter one’s entire attitude. I’m so used to being corrected constantly, having everything wrong, and every flaw pointed out to me. When my instructor gave me my papers back and kept me after class to talk to me about them I wasn’t sure how to even react. When she said that my very first assignment for this class, an assignment that was handed out to us before we really had any lessons or even met her, was a good paper and I should expand on it and write more–well I was ecstatic. Someone was actually giving me words of encouragement! I felt surprised at first, and then I felt empowered. I felt…happy. My whole outlook had changed; suddenly I had a renewed confidence in myself. For the first time in over a year I had confidence, not just in this class but in myself. I was able to carry over this feeling into work the next day as well. I was a little happier, my day went by fast, I didn’t feel too annoyed when asked to do silly little mundane tasks that people should be doing for themselves. I even slept for the entire night two nights in a row. That is not an easy task!

Well, I’m going to start out today with this new found confidence. I hear that moods can be contagious. Let’s see if I can change someone else’s frown upside down today.

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Working For The Weekend

They say if you do what you love then you’ll never work a day in your life. I really wish it was that easy.
I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I have a job. I should feel lucky that I work for a great company and we do great things. Literally life and death work. Not me personally but the doctors, surgeons and nurses. I work in a foundation office; we raise money for cancer research, patient care and programs. I love where I work. I even like my job. Unfortunate I find it very difficult to work with a select group of people. There is constant belittlement, undermining, sneaking and backstabbing. This all contributes to the sense of dread I feel when I wake up every morning. It makes me sad because if not for these attitudes and actions I would love waking up to go to work each day.
I suppose I should just let go of much of what is said to me or even what I hear people saying around me. But it’s hard. Instead of working as a team towards one goal, everyone is out for him or herself. It’s so frustrating and it’s a downer.
I truly believe that this is the reason I cannot sleep at night. I would love to have it all–a job that I love to do at a company that is great to work for and for colleagues who build you up instead of tear you down. I guess I can’t have it all though.