The Lazy Song

I’ve become lazy again. I know this  because my pants are starting to get tight. Again.

I need to perform a massive overhaul of my lifestyle. I like to sleep as late as I can in the mornings so I’ve been skipping my morning yoga almost routinely. I haven’t run in forever. After work is so hectic between getting dinner ready and taking kids to all their extra curricular activities that I just want to veg out or read on the couch when I get home. So that’s exactly what I do.

Yes, I totally know I’m making excuses. At least I can admit that. I can also admit that part of me is happy with the way I am right now. I am not “large and in charge” by any means, but I am in no way what most people would describe as the ideal shape either. I’m OK with this. I just don’t want to get any bigger so that I have to buy a new wardrobe. If I do have to buy a new one though, I’d rather be purchasing smaller sizes.

This is the mindset that I am in today. Tomorrow will most likely be a different story. It always is.

Talk to you later.

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Into The Groove

Well, I failed my own test yesterday. And by  writing about it today, I’m also already failing today, too.  But you know what? I’m OK with that.

Maybe it’s because I finally slept well last night. Took a nice, long, hot bath with a glass of wine and went right to sleep afterward. Maybe that’s the key. I’ll just try doing that every night. Or maybe it’s because I am realizing that I am human and humans can’t just flip a switch and turn off feelings and emotions and curiosity and … anything.

Perhaps it’s because I made myself wake up early to practice yoga this morning. I’ve had no energy or motivation lately and I’ve been skipping it every morning.  I’m glad I did it today. It really did give me a boost today. Just as my bath helped calm me last night, yoga helped get my heart to quicken

and got me moving and grooving this morning.

After a long talk with a friend yesterday I decided not to focus on the why’s or lies being told or the what if’s. I’m just taking things day by day, minute by minute. I’m going to have fun in the process.

I think I’ll have a dance party of 1 at work today.

via Daily Prompt: Quicken

Confident

So lately I’ve been writing all about my own life and what seems (to me, anyway) to be the end of life as I know it. Sure, shit that I’m going through is tough and could potentially be devastating to me and my family, but it is no way the end of the world. I’m not in crisis mode or anything like that.

In fact, things are quite calm at the moment. I’m living with (dealing with?) an alternate way of life, I guess you could say.

I’ve stopped paying attention. I wait until he comes to me-for anything and everything. I don’t even text to see how his day is going anymore. It was hard at first, but I think it’s doing us both good. We’ve been together for more than half our lives so we have always done everything and gone everywhere together. I’m starting to do A LOT more on my own, and I think, I don’t know. But things are changing a little bit. I’m only going out with girlfriends, not doing anything that girls would do to get their boyfriends jealous, but I think it is getting to him a little. Not quite sure what it is, to be honest.

When we first started dating, I was very confident and self-assured. Somewhere along the way I lost my confidence. Although I didn’t need to, I always asked if it was alright with him when I made plans or bought lunch or what-have-you. I don’t do that anymore. I am not sure what the shift is, but I’m finding my confidence again.

I started practicing yoga a few weeks ago. Last week the instructor told a story about being married to an alcoholic and after she started practicing yoga regularly her confidence went up and she was able to leave her husband. Now she owns three yoga studios. That story got me thinking and made me wonder if the yoga has anything to do with my new confidence. Everyone says yoga has huge benefits both physical and mental, but you don’t always notice them right away.

Hmm, I wonder.