I’m Fat

This is getting very tiresome. I am getting very tiresome. That’s because I’m always tired.

I keep telling myself that I’m going to get up an hour earlier in the morning and do a longer yoga practice, or lift some weights, or go out for a run. But I don’t. I can’t. I absolutely cannot get out of bed in the mornings. I’m sleeping right through my alarm. All. The. Time.

And I am too tired after a full day at work and running the kids to and from dance or track or whatever sport they have that day.

I was hoping this feeling would be temporary and a couple good night’s sleep and I’d be back on track. Unfortunately this seems to be lingering. I’m sure I just need to force my ass to move and do something and I’ll start having more energy again. But it seems almost impossible.

I have days that I really hate this state that I’m in; I have days where I say that I’m OK with where I’m at. But I always hate picking out my clothes for the day. Every pair of pants I have are just a tad too snug now. Sitting at work is just a bit uncomfortable. And it isn’t warm enough outside for me to start wearing dresses to work. I need temperatures in the 70s for that.

I mentioned once before that I read a lot of blogs on different subjects. Today I have seen so many “Transformation Tuesday” photos on various social media sites. One day I will get to post my own photo, but to get there I need to move. And as I’m sitting at my desk almost falling asleep sitting up, I am making a promise to myself to start tonight – even if I just take a walk around the block.

 

 

I Want Your Hands On Me

I’m running off of a minimal amount of sleep right now. Darling husband has been sick and his coughing and restlessness has been waking me up at night. Last night he was called in to work and though I should’ve been able to sleep like a log since I had the whole bed to myself, I couldn’t sleep because he wasn’t there.

I was worried about the possibility that he’d have to work all night and his regular shift in the morning. He would’ve been up for more than 30 hours at that point and I was worried about him driving home.

Luckily he didn’t have to work all night and did come home to get a few hours of sleep. So that helped me get a couple of hours of sleep.

That doesn’t mean I’m not exhausted AF right now. Because I totally am! I can manage going through the day this tired, but like most people, it totally messes with my mind. My reaction time isn’t there. I tend to be a lot quieter than normal. I also daydream a lot more because I can’t concentrate on anything.

I love to read. A lot. Books, magazines, online articles, blogs. If it has a story, I’ll read it. I usually get to work a little early so I take that time to read the blogs here on WordPress. A few of them are like mine, just dumping everything that’s going on in our heads. Some of them are fictional stories. A few of them I can’t wait for the next entry to be posted. Some of them are so fucking hot that on a day like today they get me daydreaming so I’m almost too uncomfortable to be at work.

But I love these daydreams. I love hiding away in them, getting lost in them, imagining what could be if I’d just let it. If I had the person in my daydreams in front of me. A confident, strapping young man with a mouth and hands longing for me, eager for my touch. Just as eager as I am for his.

PS. I have loved this song ever since I heard it in A Nightmare on Elm Street 4. I had no idea it was Sinead O’Connor.